So, what do I do all day?

It's funny. When someone asks what I do for a living, and I say that I'm retired, they ask what I do all day. Is it because I'm not elderly? Or, that I don't look crippled enough to satisfy nosiness?

Invisible illnesses are hard to explain. You can look, but not see them in people around you, but they are there. I look fit, and healthy. I function fairly well in places which are familiar, and where I know locations of things. Places which have adaptations for low and no vision. 

These are my invisible illnesses...

Non-Paraneoplastic AutoImmune Retinopathy. There is no effective treatment, and no cure. Eyesight is down to finger counting. The left eye sees nothing except gray, black or white. In some light levels, I see very little. I rely on cues of shapes, shadows and the few colors that I can make out to extrapolate what is near me. The built in gps in my head is something that I always took for granted, and now am grateful for. It means that I don't get lost, know where I am, and always know what direction that I'm facing. In other light levels, either too bright or too dark, I see nothing at all.  Stabbing headaches live behind the left eyeball which no pain pill can lessen. 

Cataracts. 

Moderate to Severe arthritis, depending on temperature and humidity levels. 

Hearing loss, just enough to annoy me and to have to ask soft voices to repeat things, sometimes over and over. Tinnitus means there is a screaming mosquito noise 24/7 in my right ear.

Vertigo and dizziness. I'm always a bit off balance. Sometimes, it's bad enough to cause falls. I wear a lot of colorful bruises due to it. Vertigo can last from a few seconds to several hours at a time.

A cyst in my brain. 

So, just what do I do all day long?

I keep my house clean, but often forget to dust or polish glass. Out of sight, out of mind. The toilet, however, sparkles. I sometimes cook, about once every couple of weeks, simple things, and enough of whatever it is to last for many meals. I eat a lot of peanut butter and fresh fruit because it's easier than burning myself on the stove, which I do almost every freakin' time. I wash dishes carefully by hand. I feed my dog and the fish every day. I take baths, shave my legs and other bits, brush my teeth, wash my face, and comb my hair. The shower brings on vertigo, so the tub is fine by me. I love to soak in the tub and just daydream in there sometimes. I use a 20x magnifying mirror to do my eye makeup which remains hidden behind the sunglasses that protect my eyes from more damage. I do a crappy job of trimming my bangs Finally learned to quit snipping my eyebrows and eyelids in the process, that hurts! Thank goodness that the bangs curl. I'm working on Braille lessons for at least three hours daily, often more, and am frustrated that I cannot learn it as easily as foreign languages. My finger tips don't have the sensitivity needed, and I'm trying to find a way to work around that limitation.  I'm listening to a Stephen King book on tape. I water plants weekly. I grow unusual plants, a cinnamon tree from Sri Lanka among others. I mow every couple of weeks, it usually takes two or three days off and on to do it. I rake most of the leaves, or at least anything which the rake can catch, and bag it. I walk the dog when arthritis and vertigo aren't bad. On bad vertigo days, I remain on the floor except to let the dog in and out or to go to the bathroom. I get on the treadmill, and try for five miles daily, on bad arthritis days it's one mile very slowly, hanging onto the rails for dear life, but I still do it. I use hand weights daily to keep up my upper body strength. After all, I doubt some hottie in fireman garb will swoop in if I fall and can't get up. I moisturize religiously, and use sunscreen. I'm making an afghan, and keep tearing out the crocheting because it feels like crap, and I keep on trying, I will get it right. I go to the grocery store, gas station, the post office... All about four blocks away. Every four to six weeks, I go to walmart with a relative so I can get big things like dog food and toilet paper. Occasionally, I see family or friends. I call my dad who lives out of state. I listen to the "hear my Facebook" app read to me. That's how I stay in touch with most people in my life. I have apps to identify money, colors, magnify, and to read print aloud. I pay bills. I use a magnifier app to project things like mail onto the tv so that I can read them. I listen to football games, records, CDs, radio, to tv shows or movies, and books on tape. I listen to online college lectures on a variety of subjects. I'm dating...Went to lunch with two gentlemen, to the fair and out to dinner with a third one. I ride the etrike when light levels cooperate. I walk over to a used book store which is the library's fundraiser. I usually buy a few books at a quarter each, and put them in my guestroom.  I change my sheets every other day. About once a month, i take my comforter to the laundromat, it's too big for the washing machine. I dress nicely every day, and do laundry. I hang most things on a wood rack or clothesline to dry. Instead of ironing, I tumble things in the dryer for a few minutes. Would like to say that I mend things, but my sewing skills are down to sewing buttons back on. I have a lot of craft and gardening books which I cannot read, and craft items that I hope to someday use. I still play a mean game of backgammon, using Braille dice. I make candy for the holidays, four ingredients, and no cooking involved. I changed the tire tube on my etrike the other day. Thankfully, the tire didn't have to be removed. I raised the rear axle by putting a flower pot under it. It took all afternoon and a butter knife (don't ask), but I got it done. I avidly follow news related to the space programs. I had, years ago, hoped to apply for the Mars trips, but this eye disease took that dream and stomped on it. I follow news and advances in my eye disease, which is mostly the same paragraph from years ago repeated and rehashed in the papers that others write. I hope for a cure. Nothing can restore the vision lost, but stopping the disease would help. I have dreams. I have hopes. I look for ways to live the best that I can, and to work around that which limits me. I deal with the soul sucking hand I was dealt. I smile and laugh when I'd rather cry. I look for the good in things. I take the bad in my life, and look for ways to make it fun, entertaining, or at least a great story. I hope for love again. I wish upon stars that I can no longer see. 

So, what do I do all day? I live, just like everyone else....