Took two Benadryl instead of Advil earlier, and it knocked me out cold. That'll teach me to not reach blindly into the drawer and grab the first pill bottle in reach.
I finally took my profile live on the dating website the other night. Wasn't certain that I was ready to put myself out there, and I'm still not sure. Anyway, I took the step. It was, in just a few minutes, like sharks circling chum. A few dozen messages, hundreds of views, a ton of winks, etc. Some messages really nice, others just plain weird. I'm completely overwhelmed. It was much more than I expected.
Sunday night...
Went on my first date this afternoon. Really nice guy, good looking, nice personality. He picked me up in his Porsche ragtop. We went on a ride to Jenks and ate at Ted's Escondido. We talked. Actually, I mostly listened and smiled. Still, I had a great time, and it was a great way to dip my toes in the dating pool. Don't know if we'll go out again, but it sure was fun.
Looks like I have a lunch date later this week.... With a different guy.
Getting the yard work caught up. Two bags of leaves won't fit in the trash can, three piles of leaves await bagging. The tree is full of bright green leaves. I suspect I'll be raking well into December. Since I like raking, and miss a lot each time, it will be nice to get fresh air when my planters are indoors and no longer need tending in the yard.
Bathed the Beastie yesterday. Each time gets easier. She and I are both happy when there is no battle to get her into a bath tub. She looks and smells terrific, wearing her little spritz of Chanel No. 5, just like mine.
Tonight, the house is clean. Chores are done, there's enough Mexican food in the fridge to feed me for a week. Was hoping to find some football on tv to listen to this evening, but it's on channels that I don't get. So, I've got Big Bang Theory on.
Soon, I need to get in the tub. After that ride in the ragtop, my hair still looks great, but I can't get a comb through it. About half an hour of deep conditioning should take care of it. Anyway, time to get to it.
Enough for now.....
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
More changes, anger, and frustration
I'm finding that, as my vision lessens, that I'm spending more time tweaking my methods of coping around my home. Trying to stay at least one step ahead keeps me on my toes, and sparks my creativity.
I'm putting brightly colored items on furniture corners, raised felt and plastic bumps on appliances which have touch functions (why on earth is it so difficult to find new appliances with knobs or dials?). A rug in front of the sink ensures I can locate it. Alarms are set on my phone to remind me to check the Beastie's food and water bowls. Another alarm reminds me when to feed the fish. Huge felt letters are rubber banded to food packages as well as medications and beauty items. Safety pins with different size beads organize my clothing. White tape marks the edges of my steps.
The time I will be able to ride the Etrike is pretty much over. I can no longer make out vehicles or pedestrians on the road unless they're in high contrast to their surroundings or moving. As much as I hate to, I have stop riding. At least I'm realizing that rather than putting myself and others in danger.
What really gets me is that I'll be using the white cane soon. I do what I can to avoid it, like only going out during hours when the sun is at it's highest. I've had the training to use it, and I'm comfortable knowing that it will get me around.
But, I hate it. I hate that I will have to depend on it to get me around. I hate that it will make me stand out as a blind person. I hate that my stupid eye disease has progressed to the point where I need it to get around. I hate that there is no effective treatment or a cure. I hate that the treatments that we did try not only did not work, but that one of them made me so ill that I'm still recovering from it more than a year later.
The loss of even more independence has me extremely frustrated and angry tonight.
I ran errands today. The post office, dollar store, grocery store and the gas station filled my shopping bag. No more canned goods or liquids due to the weight. Time to change my diet, and base it on the weight of the food I can carry home while walking. More adjustments to make, but I'm okay with that. Coffee cans and tea bags weigh less than bottles of fruit juice, so I'll need to add vitamin c to my diet.
Enough griping for now.....
I'm putting brightly colored items on furniture corners, raised felt and plastic bumps on appliances which have touch functions (why on earth is it so difficult to find new appliances with knobs or dials?). A rug in front of the sink ensures I can locate it. Alarms are set on my phone to remind me to check the Beastie's food and water bowls. Another alarm reminds me when to feed the fish. Huge felt letters are rubber banded to food packages as well as medications and beauty items. Safety pins with different size beads organize my clothing. White tape marks the edges of my steps.
The time I will be able to ride the Etrike is pretty much over. I can no longer make out vehicles or pedestrians on the road unless they're in high contrast to their surroundings or moving. As much as I hate to, I have stop riding. At least I'm realizing that rather than putting myself and others in danger.
What really gets me is that I'll be using the white cane soon. I do what I can to avoid it, like only going out during hours when the sun is at it's highest. I've had the training to use it, and I'm comfortable knowing that it will get me around.
But, I hate it. I hate that I will have to depend on it to get me around. I hate that it will make me stand out as a blind person. I hate that my stupid eye disease has progressed to the point where I need it to get around. I hate that there is no effective treatment or a cure. I hate that the treatments that we did try not only did not work, but that one of them made me so ill that I'm still recovering from it more than a year later.
The loss of even more independence has me extremely frustrated and angry tonight.
I ran errands today. The post office, dollar store, grocery store and the gas station filled my shopping bag. No more canned goods or liquids due to the weight. Time to change my diet, and base it on the weight of the food I can carry home while walking. More adjustments to make, but I'm okay with that. Coffee cans and tea bags weigh less than bottles of fruit juice, so I'll need to add vitamin c to my diet.
Enough griping for now.....
Monday, September 22, 2014
Small explanation
Note, the difference in the description of my sister-in-law's house is that 3000 square feet is the main portion of the house, the extra 1500 square feet includes the storage room, covered patios and carport.
Playing Catchup.....
Just returned home on Friday night from spending a few days at my sister-in-law's home. She finally sold her place, and Friday was the closing. We've been packing, and moving her from a 4500 square foot home into a 900 square foot one. Her coworkers came and held a garage sale as the moving trucks loaded and went. Pure chaos, and a lot of fun. We had her three dogs, one disturbed cat, an ex husband, kids, Grandkids, tons of relatives, and my beastie. Would love to say that it all went smoothly, but it was more like trying to lasso jello.
I'm going to miss that house. Three levels, four bedrooms of which two were master bedrooms, three baths, huge 7x8 walk-in closets in every room and hallway. Each level was larger than my entire house. The ground level was twice the size of my place. There was a lot of love and laughter in that house. Most of our family gatherings were held there. It was packed full of memories.
I ended up with new (to me) furniture, a loveseat and a recliner, some small appliances, a flower vase, etc. Living with patio furniture, I'd forgotten what it's like to have a comfortable place to sit or curl up. Makes me really appreciate having it.
Oh, and somehow I ended up with another beta fish. He's a Crowntail, purple, and is supposed to be "a hateful little creature". Don't know about that part, he seems quite happy in his new bowl. Perhaps he just didn't like being in a big tank with a lot of other fish.
My nephew took me for a ride on his Harley. It was scary, and so much fun! I loved every second of it. Last time I rode on a motorcycle was before I got pregnant with my youngest child, over 25 years ago. It was a real treat, something I never thought I'd ever get to do again.
Saturday was the memorial service for the mother of a close friend and family member. Her gardens were full of flowers and children playing. There were tables set up in the yard, folks lounging on the porches, photo albums everywhere, and enough food to feed a third world country. Dozens of people came, and there were a lot of memories shared, along with laughter and tears. Lovely, she would have been so happy to see everyone there.
I am worn out. It's been a long week, and I've overdone it. My own home has been neglected while I've been gone. The house itself is clean, but there is laundry and yard work to be tended to. There is some food in the fridge to be thrown out, since I wasn't home to eat it. The front porch and sidewalk need sweeping, and the gardens could use a good drink. With rain expected tomorrow, I may be able to get out of watering the flower pots.
I wasted my time on Sunday dinking with the cheap indoor antenna. After seven hours, I now have five regular tv channels and three shopping channels as long as there is no breeze or rain happening outdoors. Makes me happy to be able to listen to football games again, as well as being able to hear the local news.
Later...
Pretty much caught up, except for dusting the furniture and raking the yard. Even managed to bathe the Beastie, which makes me extremely happy. Found out that my little mega ticket won $15. Since I had to walk downtown and run a few errands this afternoon, I treated the Beastie and myself to a vanilla milkshake. It's in the freezer, we'll share it later.
Enough for now.....
I'm going to miss that house. Three levels, four bedrooms of which two were master bedrooms, three baths, huge 7x8 walk-in closets in every room and hallway. Each level was larger than my entire house. The ground level was twice the size of my place. There was a lot of love and laughter in that house. Most of our family gatherings were held there. It was packed full of memories.
I ended up with new (to me) furniture, a loveseat and a recliner, some small appliances, a flower vase, etc. Living with patio furniture, I'd forgotten what it's like to have a comfortable place to sit or curl up. Makes me really appreciate having it.
Oh, and somehow I ended up with another beta fish. He's a Crowntail, purple, and is supposed to be "a hateful little creature". Don't know about that part, he seems quite happy in his new bowl. Perhaps he just didn't like being in a big tank with a lot of other fish.
My nephew took me for a ride on his Harley. It was scary, and so much fun! I loved every second of it. Last time I rode on a motorcycle was before I got pregnant with my youngest child, over 25 years ago. It was a real treat, something I never thought I'd ever get to do again.
Saturday was the memorial service for the mother of a close friend and family member. Her gardens were full of flowers and children playing. There were tables set up in the yard, folks lounging on the porches, photo albums everywhere, and enough food to feed a third world country. Dozens of people came, and there were a lot of memories shared, along with laughter and tears. Lovely, she would have been so happy to see everyone there.
I am worn out. It's been a long week, and I've overdone it. My own home has been neglected while I've been gone. The house itself is clean, but there is laundry and yard work to be tended to. There is some food in the fridge to be thrown out, since I wasn't home to eat it. The front porch and sidewalk need sweeping, and the gardens could use a good drink. With rain expected tomorrow, I may be able to get out of watering the flower pots.
I wasted my time on Sunday dinking with the cheap indoor antenna. After seven hours, I now have five regular tv channels and three shopping channels as long as there is no breeze or rain happening outdoors. Makes me happy to be able to listen to football games again, as well as being able to hear the local news.
Later...
Pretty much caught up, except for dusting the furniture and raking the yard. Even managed to bathe the Beastie, which makes me extremely happy. Found out that my little mega ticket won $15. Since I had to walk downtown and run a few errands this afternoon, I treated the Beastie and myself to a vanilla milkshake. It's in the freezer, we'll share it later.
Enough for now.....
Friday, September 12, 2014
Friday
Tonight, I'm enjoying a Six Feet Under marathon. A big bowl of popcorn, incense, a few lit candles, and the Beastie at my feet are making for a lovely evening. I got most of my daily workout in before my knee called a screaming halt. A long soak in the tub ensures that I can now crash when I'm tired.
Got about two-thirds of the front and side yards mowed earlier. The backyard is so full of leaves that I have to rake before it can be mowed. That can wait for tomorrow, or even a warmer day. I'm in no hurry.
Thinking about bringing some of the plants indoors. I miss having my plants inside. It brings color and life, and purifies the air, plus adds to the decor. I'm sure they'll pout and drop leaves in protest. They usually do. Brats.
Helping a sister-in-law move tomorrow. After two years she finally sold her place. It contains thirty years worth of stuff, 3000 square feet of it. She has a garage sale going at the same time. I know it will be pure chaos, but fun. Her brother is picking me up in the morning. I predict an immediate stop for good coffee, followed by a day of hard labor. Hopefully, I will be of some help rather than a hindrance.
Still not dating. I'm scared. Scared of not being able to see the person I'm with. Not knowing how safe I am. Not knowing where I am or who is near me. I'm scared of being left alone in an unfamiliar place. I'm scared of not being able to get to a safe place if all doesn't go well for any reason.
It was so much easier to date when I could see. Reading faces, body language, and intentions was just part and parcel of being with someone. I'm learning to trust based on tone of voice and just words. But, I'm still not ready to trust myself with new people.
Enough for now....
Got about two-thirds of the front and side yards mowed earlier. The backyard is so full of leaves that I have to rake before it can be mowed. That can wait for tomorrow, or even a warmer day. I'm in no hurry.
Thinking about bringing some of the plants indoors. I miss having my plants inside. It brings color and life, and purifies the air, plus adds to the decor. I'm sure they'll pout and drop leaves in protest. They usually do. Brats.
Helping a sister-in-law move tomorrow. After two years she finally sold her place. It contains thirty years worth of stuff, 3000 square feet of it. She has a garage sale going at the same time. I know it will be pure chaos, but fun. Her brother is picking me up in the morning. I predict an immediate stop for good coffee, followed by a day of hard labor. Hopefully, I will be of some help rather than a hindrance.
Still not dating. I'm scared. Scared of not being able to see the person I'm with. Not knowing how safe I am. Not knowing where I am or who is near me. I'm scared of being left alone in an unfamiliar place. I'm scared of not being able to get to a safe place if all doesn't go well for any reason.
It was so much easier to date when I could see. Reading faces, body language, and intentions was just part and parcel of being with someone. I'm learning to trust based on tone of voice and just words. But, I'm still not ready to trust myself with new people.
Enough for now....
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)