Early morning thoughts

Pain awakened me at four this morning. My pain pills are laughing at the idea that they're supposed to work. The house  is remarkably quiet, aside from doggy snores. Soon, I'll start a pot of coffee, set out croissants and melons, and fry a few slices of bacon. For now, I'm merely enjoying the quiet.

My fiancé brought his dogs over last night, two gigantic German shepherds. They're lovely ladies, and I adore them. They're delighted to travel and visit. My beastie is happy that her friends came to her house to see her. Later today, we'll load up all three into the car and take them to his house. It will be wonderful once we're married and have all three of them together. No more having to arrange for pet sitters or traveling an extra sixty miles round trip to visit.

Spring is definitely here. Eighties yesterday, and close to that today. I'm looking forward to rain, and more plants growing and blooming. The last of the branches have been hauled to the curb. In a few days, I'll drag out the mower and tackle the yard. Today, we'll be going to Lowes, and I'll pick up more bulbs to plant. I'll get to enjoy them this summer, and future renters will enjoy them for years to come.

Talked to my sister a couple of days ago. Dad spends much of his time sleeping now, and hospice is there most of the time. She's taken leave from her job to be with him. I wish I lived closer to him. It's hard to realize and accept that my Dad is dying. I will miss his guidance, wisdom, and love. He adopted me many years ago, and I'm proud to be his daughter. I am blessed.

Enough for now.

Periodic self check

These are my self evaluation questions.

Where are you currently in life?

Are you happy with your life overall?

Do you feel fulfilled?

Do you look forward to each day?

Are you where you thought you'd be in life from ideas you had ten years ago?

What are your life goals?

Are you actively working towards those goals?

Are you taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally?

Are you getting some exercise daily?

Are you (mostly) eating a healthy diet?

What do you think of...?

Are the people in your life ones who enjoy being with you?

Do you enjoy being with them?

Are you learning new things?

Are you being mentored?

Are you mentoring someone?

Do you have role models?

If others look up to you, are you living your life as a good role model?

Are you reading daily?

If you have children in your home, are you reading to them?

Do you enrich your life with the arts?

Do you have one or more hobbies?

Is your home a place you look forward to being?

If not, why not?

Are you living the life of your dreams?

If you're not happy with any of the answers given to the questions asked, are you making changes in order to live a life you're pleased with?

Changes

Well, a true game changing life event has occurred. My gentleman friend is now my fiancé, as of last week. I'm happy, and a bit apprehensive. There's a lot to do and plan, and I've a few other things to tend to first, before starting on wedding things.

I need to....
Find the perfect dress, and buy it at least six sizes too small. Lose at least sixty pounds. Get a facelift. Purchase bridal magazines and make totally insane plans for a huge wedding with everything my previous weddings did not have. Get depressed over the entire thing. Eat a gallon of French vanilla ice cream. Elope. Brush up on my sarcastic skills.

We won't get married until he finishes up the remodel on his house and sells it. It's not safe for me to live in. First of all, it's an A frame house. That means I can walk face first into the wall three feet before my feet or my white cane could touch it. It also has steep stairs that cause a lot of arthritis pain. The final reason I won't live there is that it's too isolated for someone who cannot drive. Truly, though, it is a lovely place. Up on a hill, with a pond at the bottom. Incredible views. Great layout, with masters suite upstairs, complete with a huge jacuzzi tub, and a deck facing west. If I could still see and drive, I'd happily stay there forever, even with arthritis.

It's actually been a busy time. I'm beginning spring cleaning. Sorting through drawers and cupboards to reduce clutter. Making a list for an upcoming garage sale. Nothing major really, as far as projects go. I did finish my bedroom closet. All of my clothes are color coordinated, and organized by outfits or groupings which mix and match. Dresses are on velvet hangars so that they won't slip off. Lingerie is in baskets and on hangars, organized by colors.

Had to change my locks. My former houseguest and I agreed that she could keep a house key in case of a true (medical) emergency. She then proceeded to come into my home one night, knowing that I was out of town for the weekend. She sent me a text stating that she'd been there and left me some of the money that she owed me. When I returned home, there was far less than she claimed that she had left. It's not so much about the money. Frankly, I don't really care about it, other than her lying about the amount that she left. What gets me is the invasion of privacy. Being blind, I don't know if things are missing. She was in my home, going through my things while I wasn't here. I couldn't imagine doing that to someone else. There's no trust in the relationship anymore. She took advantage of almost two decades of friendship. I don't need friends like that, ever.

Enough for now...