I'm rethinking the whole thing now. The latest guest is a dear friend, and I love her dearly. That being said, I believe I need to set some serious ground rules for future guests.
The first being, no more than a 48 hour long stay, ever.
The second being, just never again.
The reasons for the rules...
1. Kitchen cabinet door ripped off the hinge.
2. Popcorn maker melted.
3. My antique settee from great grandma means a great deal to me. Within a few hours of explaining that I didn't want it used or damaged, a two inch cigarette ash was dropped on the seat. Twenty four hours later, she dumped a 32 oz glass of sweet tea on the upholstery.
4. Eight cigarette burns in the tablecloth.
5. Lit cigarettes in the guest bedroom after my explicitly stating that there were never to be any smoking materials in the bedroom due to it being a fire and safety hazard.
6. Gel pen marker on 1600 thread count sheets, which will never come out.
7. Refusing to job hunt until a couple of weeks after a vacation we took her on. That was after she'd been here for over two months already. Then, not hunting seriously. Quitting a job on the first day after training. It took five months before she was working full time and I could get her out of my house.
8. The lies... I caught her in several. They never ended. I'd call her out on them, and she just kept on lying anyway.
9. Money missing, but I can't prove she took it.
10. Sitting around on her butt for weeks even after the "I cannot afford to support you" conversation.
11. Didn't like the groceries, etc. That I purchased, and magically found enough cash to purchase her own.
12. Didn't like it when I downgraded to the absolute cheapest coffee, laundry detergent, fabric softener, and other products due to not having money to buy my usual brands. Note, I did not cut back in any way on my pets foods or other products for them.
13. Telling me what she would not put up with, in my house.
14. Stated she was deathly allergic to and horribly afraid of dogs, so to hurry things along, I quit going to my gentleman friends home for the weekends. Instead, he began bringing his huge German shepherds over with him every Friday to Sunday. His home is in the middle of being remodeled, so it was better to have him here for my safety anyway.
15. Passive aggressive behavior on her part...moving things around, knowing I'm blind and would have a hard time finding them. I told her that if she didn't know where something went, to leave it on the kitchen counter. That didn't happen even once, she'd just put things anywhere, which is a nightmare if you're blind and keep everything in its place.
16. All of those little digs about my housekeeping whenever she performed a rare household chore. In her defense, she did keep up with some of the dishwashing. She claimed that she vacuumed when I was gone on the weekends, but I only saw proof of that a couple of times. She mopped once. Mainly, she'd put household cleaners in the sink and tub while I was gone on the weekends, so I couldn't use them when I got home until I cleaned them.
17. The only time I ever asked for a ride from her was for a doctor's appointment. It cost me $80, not including any medical expenses.
18. When she'd ask me to ride along with her for her errands, I'd end up paying for everything. That stopped in short order, too expensive for me.
19. When I'd be listening to my online classes, she'd start playing music videos. Loudly.
20. The guest room was filthy all of the time, even with plenty of available storage in there. Since my home has a jack and Jill bathroom, the guest room is where anyone visiting would walk through to use the bathroom. Nothing like picking your way across dirty panties and trash to use the facilities.
21. She had no problem watching me mow and do yard work, clean house, haul out the trash, etc.
22. I loaned her a brand new formal dress for our vacation, still had tags on it. When we returned home, she ran it through the washer and dryer. It was dry clean only.
23. The vacation was a nightmare. Enough said.
24. I supplied almost all of her clothes, shoes, etc., when she returned to America with only a few pairs of sandals and a couple of muumuus to wear. I gave her some and purchased the rest for her.
25. Except for two and a half hours on Tuesday evenings, I never had a moment of privacy. She was always there.
26. She spoke of inviting people to come visit at my home, strangers to me. I, of course, said no to anything like that.
27. She was incapable of cooking without setting off the smoke detector, and never once cleaned off the stove.
She's been in her own place about a month. I gave her a lot of things to get her settled in...furniture, appliances, linens, and other items. I'm glad she's working and settled, I really am.
It's taking a lot to readjust after her moving out. The house is once again clean to my standards. I'm getting used to having my own space. My peace of mind is slowly reappearing. It will take a year or more to recover financially from her being here. Vacations are off the table for at least a couple of years. So are things like the new clothes, shoes, trips to the beauty parlor, dental work, Braille books, etc.
I'm tired and stressed, but I will recover. My level of trust may never come back. That's probably a good thing. I dislike being used, and will remember this lesson for the rest of my life.
Enough for now...
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